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Why “Unbirthing” Is Good For Everybody
Is it too late in the game to say “the internet changes things?” I know that’s very late-nineties-trend-piece of me, but it’s still going on and we’re still discovering what it means. Our dull, meaty...
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You’re Never Not What You Are
Young self-identified masters and dominants often have to fight for their identities BDSM spaces. Olivia Davis looks at why that’s wrong.In some ways, BDSM is a subculture of title and tradition. The...
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pleasureland
One man’s pleasureland is another man’s nightmare. scary peroxide blonde with huge breasts prances aroundwith a leather belt attached to her neck like a leashsmiles as she invites men to whip her bare...
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Why Men Don’t Always Want Sex
Believe it or not, men are not always in the mood. Sex educator Ken Melvoin-Berg helps turn this unfortunate situation into an opportunity for exploration and fun.This is a touchy subject, but I...
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Just Doing My Job
Justin Cascio’s life has been changed by the writers who reveal their own lives—and the taboos of our society.I write all day long. Why don’t I publish anything? I complain to my publisher. She’s a...
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21 Step Guide to the Art of Masculine Domination
Skillful dominance requires confidence and sensitivity. Are you bringing it, every step of the way?In a society that emphasizes the value of ‘dominance,’ I’ve noticed a significant dearth of men who...
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The Strength of Submission
At first, John Edale worried about sharing this private aspect of his life in a blog, but has found that coming out as submissive has unexpected benefits.BDSM is big business these days. Random House,...
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Submissive Men Circa 1988: An Excerpt From the Memoirs of Janet Hardy
Kink pioneer Janet Hardy recalls some of the men she met when she first started exploring BDSM.The following is an excerpt from Janet Hardy’s upcoming memoir, currently titled “Impervious: Chronicles...
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Beyond Friction Sex Part 2: How to Journey to the Deepest Realms of Eros
Sex Expert Galen Fous Lays Out the Step by Steps to Mutual Sexual EcstasyIn the sex-negative, sex-ignorant culture we are immersed in, it may never have occurred to you that there is more to consider...
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Anticipation of the Knife
Masculinity is often tied to pain management. Here, Michael Walsh ponders whether one kind of pain can be used to manage another.—Anticipation of the KnifeThe dyke couple at the conference thinks I...
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Banana
In a poem that some will find creepy and others will find darkly funny, Ann Clark reminds us that the people we love often hide secrets.—BananaHe trips over the cat one evening,wakes up, intubated,...
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3 Things I Learned About Sex by Writing Erotica
Spencer Dryden starting writing Erotic Romance at 63. From fantasy to the Big O, he’s learned a lot.—I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but I never imagined writing fiction, especially erotic romance,...
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The Doorway to Love Is a Broken Heart
I dare you to let the hammer of love smash open your heart.___Love is the child of an endless war Love is an open wound still raw Love is a shameless banner unfurled Love’s an explosion, Love is the...
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How To Cultivate Your Darker Sexual Energy
Jordan Gray went on a journey to discover his fully expressed sexual self and became a better man in the process.—-Five years ago I went to my first ever sex party in a “dungeon” in San Francisco. It...
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Shades of Play: Trauma Reenactment Versus Trauma Play
Has 50 Shades of Grey finally opened the door to explore clinicians’ biases surrounding BDSM?—The field of psychology has a history of seeing BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism) sexuality as...
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Does Affirmative Consent Kill the Mood?
—As an author who has written about a wide variety of controversial topics, I thought I’d heard every insult hurled my way. But after I created the Consent Pledge, I saw an insult about this effort,...
View ArticleYour Humble Editors are Reading Fifty Shades of Grey.
Because of course we are. Did you think we’d let you down? Never, baby. We’re gonna stick with you through the end. And we’re gonna protect you, and give you expensive gifts and get all up in your...
View ArticleFifty Shades of Grey is Unintelligible as a Novel
Warning: This is not a post about gender, sex, or towering rage. It’s basically a piece of literary criticism. Also, some spoilers follow. So, as Charles creepily informed you, we’ve been reading Fifty...
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Cuckolding, Cuckqueening, and Sex Fantasies
From behaviors and fetishes to kinks and vanilla, Justin and Joe discuss everything including cuckolding – this incredibly common male fetish. What does it say about you if you’re into kinky or BDSM...
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Roping and #MeToo: ‘Doug and Joe’ Talk With Dr. Joe Kort
Have you ever wondered what Roping really is? This week’s guests on Smart Sex, Smart Love are rope anarchists and kink organizers, Doug and Joe from miropes.com. Best known as experts on incorporating...
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